After a bad or messy break up you will be feeling upset, panicky and probably angry as well. Right after the break up you may not be able to think of anything except how you can get your ex back. It is easy – and very common – to get depressed and be unable to stop yourself calling your ex and begging and pleading with them to come back. But you must try and control your emotions and realise that this really is not the best thing to do. In fact, it will probably make things worse and drive your ex further away.
The best thing to do is the exact opposite of how you feel and how you want to behave. You will be desperate to speak to your ex – so don't! You want to stay in and mope and feel sorry for yourself – don't, don't, don't! Instead follow these 3 steps for a much easier and more effective way to get back together with your ex.
Make it clear that you accept that things are over between you, and that you are fine with it. To help you with this, face the fact that it is actually true. Your old relationship IS over, and you are going to build a new and more successful relationship in the future.
Begin the process of moving on by finding new ways to spend your time. You need to let your ex see that you are doing this. Whatever has caused the breakup, you both need time for your feelings to settle and become less raw. With the pressure gone, your ex will be able to think anew about your relationship and remember the good things you had together.
There needs to be a time and space now when you do not contact your ex. This will show them that you are moving on, and spur them to think more deeply about your relationship. You will both have time to consider your options and see where your future really lies. Your ex will have the space to discover how much they really miss you, and how much they want to see you again.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but as long as you are pestering them or showering them with attention, they will never be able to see the size of the hole that has opened up before them. The loss of any relationship always leaves a big gap in someone's life, and giving your ex space now will show them how important you are to them.
At some point you do need to see each other again! Give it a few weeks, and during that time you will make your plans for when you meet again. The first meeting is to give you a chance to see whether there is a real chance that you can get back together; so decide when and where you should meet and what you should say at this meeting.
The meeting should be short (no more than an hour) and the mood should be kept light. The point is not to go over old ground, but to show your ex how exciting and fun the future could be. Talking over your problems should be avoided for now. The time for that is after you have both decided you want to try again. Show them by your manner and behaviour how you have changed.
Keep your cool and don't go in with all guns blazing! Allow things to develop between you at their own pace, without trying to force the issue. You will soon know if your ex is serious about getting back together with you .
Convincing an ex to try again can be both delicate and tricky, but if you follow these steps you will have a good chance of success. Remember that positive and happy wins every time over negative and glum, so get the good vibes flowing during your first dates and give yourself the best chance of getting back together with your ex.
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The best thing to do is the exact opposite of how you feel and how you want to behave. You will be desperate to speak to your ex – so don't! You want to stay in and mope and feel sorry for yourself – don't, don't, don't! Instead follow these 3 steps for a much easier and more effective way to get back together with your ex.
Step 1: Accept the Break Up!
Make it clear that you accept that things are over between you, and that you are fine with it. To help you with this, face the fact that it is actually true. Your old relationship IS over, and you are going to build a new and more successful relationship in the future.
Begin the process of moving on by finding new ways to spend your time. You need to let your ex see that you are doing this. Whatever has caused the breakup, you both need time for your feelings to settle and become less raw. With the pressure gone, your ex will be able to think anew about your relationship and remember the good things you had together.
Step 2: Do Not Contact Your Ex!
There needs to be a time and space now when you do not contact your ex. This will show them that you are moving on, and spur them to think more deeply about your relationship. You will both have time to consider your options and see where your future really lies. Your ex will have the space to discover how much they really miss you, and how much they want to see you again.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but as long as you are pestering them or showering them with attention, they will never be able to see the size of the hole that has opened up before them. The loss of any relationship always leaves a big gap in someone's life, and giving your ex space now will show them how important you are to them.
Step 3: Plan How to Get Back Together
At some point you do need to see each other again! Give it a few weeks, and during that time you will make your plans for when you meet again. The first meeting is to give you a chance to see whether there is a real chance that you can get back together; so decide when and where you should meet and what you should say at this meeting.
The meeting should be short (no more than an hour) and the mood should be kept light. The point is not to go over old ground, but to show your ex how exciting and fun the future could be. Talking over your problems should be avoided for now. The time for that is after you have both decided you want to try again. Show them by your manner and behaviour how you have changed.
Keep your cool and don't go in with all guns blazing! Allow things to develop between you at their own pace, without trying to force the issue. You will soon know if your ex is serious about getting back together with you .
Convincing an ex to try again can be both delicate and tricky, but if you follow these steps you will have a good chance of success. Remember that positive and happy wins every time over negative and glum, so get the good vibes flowing during your first dates and give yourself the best chance of getting back together with your ex.
Source
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